Promise Me?
by Silverfail
Summary: Eren finds out that Armin has considered the inexplicable. Immediately, he confronts his friend for considering something so severe and Armin is left to explain on his own. (Platonic Eremin, Rated T; Trigger Warnings? Mention of self-harm and suicide.)


**I was reflecting on events of what had happened to Armin and then I remembered that Armin was about to attempt suicide at one point. This actually hit me really hard because I completely adore Armin and I wouldn't know what would happen if he died. Eren doesn't know, but what if he finds out? How would he react? So I whipped this up.**

**I tried keeping this short because this is a touchy subject for me at times and I didn't want to end up affecting other people too.**

* * *

Eren sat at the tables with his friends, Mikasa and Armin at his sides. They were sharing stories and telling jokes. It was a nice leisure moment for the while, before the stress of war's rage continued. It kept the soldiers close and made them smile. They've all undergone difficult times in the past, but really, what helps the pain other than a laugh?

It was only a few days since the battle of Trost ended. Though the fighting was done, war was still far from over. People were still recovering from the shock and loss of soldiers out on the field. Just a little more time of recovering and they'll be sent back into the battlefield. That was the law.

Despite the gruesome challenges the solders had undergone, they still managed to smile. And that was all they really needed to continue having the will to fight on. This only made Eren proud of his fellow teammates for them still be willing to fight for the freedom of humans.

Suddenly, the conversations went to the deeper end of personalities, prompting everyone to share some of their secrets. While some were more lighthearted than others, most allowed the inward personalities of Eren's comrades to glow.

Before it was even Eren's turn, Armin turned around in his bench and began to head back to the hallways leading to the rooms without a word.

"Hey Armin, where are you off to?" Eren asked.

Armin hesitated for a while, then looked back into Eren's questioning eyes.

"I'm getting tired," he said softly as he smiled. "I'm heading off to bed. Good night everyone. Sleep well."

With that, he turned back around and continued his way to his room.

'_Boy, he must be really tired to just take of like that.'_ Eren thought. He turned his attention back into the group.

Jean continued looking towards the hallways. "He must've really freaked out in taking his share of secrets," he muttered. "Even though, I'm sure all of us here know his secrets. He couldn't have been able to hide things no matter how subtly he tried to make things."

Eren looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?" he inquired.

"Oh, didn't Mikasa tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Jean looked over at Mikasa with a faintly questioning expression on his face. Mikasa's eyes darted back and forth between Jean and Eren. She sighed.

"The day you died in the battle of re-taking Trost…Armin was at the brink of attempting suicide."

Eren went so limp that he dropped the glass cup he was holding at the time.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't think it mattered. Besides, Armin seemed to have improved a lot ever since you revived. And he still improved after saving us from being executed."

"It doesn't matter, you should have still told me."

Mikasa looked down apologetically. Eren turned and headed over to the hallway. He turned back to say goodnight to his comrades, and then disappeared deeper into the hallways.

'_That fool. Who does he think he is? I won't be able to sleep well tonight knowing this, I need to talk some sense into him. I need my questions answered before I can dream in peace.'_

He found Armin's room. The lights from inside the room were still on, which proved that Armin had not gone to sleep. Grabbing a hold of the knob, Eren hesitated, something he wouldn't have done usually. His brash and impulsive personality always made him go head onto danger. But not like this. This was Armin he was about to scold; his oldest friend. Honestly, Armin's gentle and accepting personality never has caused any sort of rift between them. Nothing has happened before, so nothing should happen now. Still, taking a deep breath, Eren prayed that everything will go smoothly. He closed his eyes and threw open the door.

Armin was sitting on his bed when he looked over to Eren in surprise. He had already changed into his pajamas. "Eren," he exclaimed, clearly not expecting a short notice. "Is there anything wrong?"

Without saying anything, Eren closed the door and sat down next to Armin. He looked at his friend's petite features. His face was questioning, and a little bit on the worried side. Eren reached over to grab his wrist.

"What are you doing Eren?" Armin stammered. There was a faint tug, as if he wanted to get his arm away from Eren's grasp. There must be something he was hiding.

Eren grabbed the cuff of the sleeve and pulled it black. He gasped quietly when he saw small scars covering most of Armin's arm. The perfect alignment to his other arm confirmed that these are indeed self-inflicted.

Armin pulled his wrist away. Eren's shock had led him to loosen up his grasp. Tears began to form in his eyes as he grasped his wrist. For several minutes, none of them said anything, and all that was able to be heard was Armin's soft sobs of shame.

Finally, he couldn't take the silence anymore. "Why?" he asked quietly. "Why could you have done this?"

He waited until his friend recovered enough to answer. Armin pulled himself up to the wall and hugged his knees.

"It was a long time ago. You don't have to worry about it now," he whispered.

"But why? Armin, you need to answer this. What led you to do such things to yourself?"

Eren's question came out a little more aggressively than intended. He saw Armin cringe at his tone. But that didn't matter now, what mattered is that Armin explained. He needed to know.

"Back then when we were kids. I was such a burden. All I was good at was getting mocked and bullied. I didn't have many friends except for you and Mikasa. But I put such a pressure on you two. You had to save me from the bullies every time we wanted to hang out. I was weak and useless. And I hated myself to being such a burden and a nuisance. You, Mikasa, I'm the least of any of you."

Eren took in the words, thinking about them for a while. Had he known this and he would've tried to prove Armin as valueable friend sooner.

"When did you start?" he pressed a little bit more gently and quieter.

"After we were evacuated from our home town. Please, I've stopped now, so you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"I will worry Armin. You're important to me no matter what you think. You matter to so many people. It will hurt to not have you around."

Armin looked down ashamed. "I'm sorry. I knew I should've told you. I just didn't know what to do. I was lost for months."

"You better tell me next time you little shit."

"There won't be a next time. I promise."

Eren scooted back and pulled Armin into a hug, something he hasn't done for a long time. Hugs just weren't his thing. Half of his problems have been answered, but he still had to ask why Armin would even consider a deep act to rid of himself.

"One more question," he murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Why would you even consider suicide in the middle of the battlefield?"

"I thought you were dead. I was already as upset as I could be. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take anymore death of friends and comrades. I was just so guilty that I couldn't do anything about it. I was weak. I know I shouldn't have considered leaving Mikasa behind, but I couldn't think straight. I'm sorry."

Eren hugged his little friend a little more tightly.

"Just promise me something. Please never think those things again. Just thinking about losing you is very unsettling."

"I promise Eren. Thanks for being here."

"I'll always be here for you."

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**This actually made me uncomfortable but oh well. I did it anyway.**

**I apologize for such a risky subject honn.**

**But still, I hope this is acceptable? ;v;**


End file.
